missed blessing

“What do you mean, you don’t want to miss God’s blessing?” I was struggling to get my head around Sandi’s reference to flying airplanes in support of missionaries in Africa. I can’t remember if I asked the question out loud. Regardless, it was an answer that I needed to figure out on my own. I’m beginning to understand.

But as I do, I realize it is a concept that can be fully understood only as one makes the commitment. There are so many “blessings” to be had here in the average American life; there are so many people who need Jesus here, too. But as I have pondered it, and read God’s Word, I am starting to connect the dots of truth.

God’s will is always done. Not that every event, whether good or bad, is His will, but that when He desires something to be accomplished, He will move Heaven and Earth, and the people on it, to make it happen. If He wants all the nations to hear His good news, then it will happen. I can choose to be a part of it or not. And I can choose my role – to pray for them, to send my money or to spend my life.

Since the Earth is the Lord’s and everything in it, it’s really His money anyway. But though I am His in as much as He created me, He also furnished me with choice – to choose Him or reject Him. And even then, I can choose Him but not fully. I can say, “Anything You want, Lord,” and I can go to church and do many good things while holding on to my passions. Or clinging to my comfortable home and familiar life.

Then I will see His smile, as I have before. But I will also see that deep sadness in His eyes, which I have always seen. I realize now that His eyes are sad because He knows my heart has not been totally His and so He cannot share His whole heart with me: He cannot love me the way He longs to, the lover that He is. I have been missing some of His blessing.

So as Sandi’s words echoed around in the back of my mind for the last few weeks, I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want to miss that blessing. I don’t want to quench God’s expression of love toward me. It is worth my life to join in the work He’s doing, which will be accomplished, with or without me. But I want to know His love, to know Him. And since He knows me far better even than I know me, I now choose to let Him prove to the world that whatever He has in store will be far beyond my wildest dreams. I rest assured that He will prove that, as He draws me ever deeper into the reckless raging fury that they call the love of God.

(references: Genesis 12:3, Galatians 3:8, Psalm 24:1, Rich Mullins)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s